Rebalancing... act.

So I went to yoga, I sweated like a freak, and I rid my body of the last vestiges of alcohol foulness. And every time I have remembered over the course of the weekend my newly reinstated no-drinking resolve, I have felt absolutely great. I think the thing I have realised with this latest decision, is that I am a different person now to what I once was. As much as I might like to think of myself as a party fiend, in fact I have morphed into something quite unlike the girl I was in my 20s. And I think that the convulsions you've seen me go through recently with trying to re-embrace alcohol and slide back into my previous place in the world, have been the throes of death for my former self. It's not easy coming to terms with leaving one of your selves behind, but I think that's what this whole thing has been about. I don't value the things I used to in the same way anymore. I don't value the same traits in people. I think one of the most difficult aspects of this transition has been the thought that people who liked me before won't like me anymore. But I'm not afraid of that now. I've realised that the people who are with me will be with me, and the people who are meant to be with me will be with me. The people who don't want to know are irrelevant. And what's more, alcohol isn't a feature of my personality, so whether it's present or absent shouldn't make a difference either way. (Except that its absence puts me in a much better mood, which is good for everyone.) Anyway, having realised all these things, and told you all about them far too many times, I feel ready (finally) to get on with shit. So, with any luck, no more puking, wallowing, or armchair psychoanalysing (how much more could we really take?) from here on in. Just action. For real.