Confidence rollercoaster.

My, this trying to make it on the other side of the world is a confronting experience. Most likely, my low state of mind today is in no small part due to last night's excessive activities. I have had little sleep, much alcohol, and have exhibited at least a little of the over the top behaviour I always live to abhor in myself. And all of it put together has robbed me of any strength or confidence in my ability to do anything or be anything attractive or useful to anyone. I find it miraculous that my relatively new friends in this city still see me as deserving of their support (in general I find the considerateness of the Americans I encounter fascinating and peculiar, peculiar only because my experience of so many other humans has rendered the trait so unfamiliar). Anyway, I am grateful for having humans close by that genuinely seem to care and who will accommodate my less attractive qualities with no apparent qualms. It is quite incredible though, how powerful a positive or negative thought can be. A positive one can see you go fearlessly forth and achieve unbelievable things. A negative one can debilitate you, ripping you off course, retarding or even undoing perfectly good progress. So, while I am in a foreign place, more vulnerable to attacks from the confidence robbers, it is more important than ever that I keep myself in a good frame of mind. Step one: lay off the booze. Step two: yoga in the morning.